Category Archives: Humor

Speechless

I deleted my previous post, “10-Word Story: Moment Of Calm”, because I felt like it didn’t measure up to the standard I have for myself. I don’t know what my standard is, but I know what it isn’t.

When it comes to my 10-word stories, I usually write them fast. I see a beautiful piece of art, and the words pop into my head in no time. But for “Moment of Calm” I spent over an hour thinking of what to say.

The piece of art was so beautiful. I felt I had to say something. I was going for something serious, sensual, or erotic, but settled for something semi-humorous: One child asking another what his mom is doing sitting naked at his dinner table. How awkward might that conversation be?

But, after giving it more thought: The woman in this piece of art deserves better than that. She  deserves better than I can currently give her.

She literally leaves me speechless.

Woman

The closest words that I can currently imagine doing her justice are these lyrics from “Always With Me” from Spirited Away:

Though the road is long and lonely and the end far away, out of sight
I can with these arms embrace the light

As I bid farewell my heart stops, in tenderness I feel
My silent empty body begins to listen to what is real

On another note:

Recently, I had a conversation with fellow blogger Love Alchemy about nudity and nature. In it, she said:

I remember most vividly bathing in streams and walking through what I would call forest for lack of a better term. It was a place of tall trees, uninhabited, serene and being naked was just so, a be’ing. Though quite young I recall those moments fondly and feel edified to hold any remembrance of beauty.

And I realize that, since that conversation, I’ve been trying to help her “hold any remembrance of” the beauty of, for example, bathing in streams. That’s one of the reasons for posts like “10-Word Story: Revelation.”

And I’ve also realized that, ultimately, I am not Love Alchemy. No matter how hard I might try, or how hard I might want to, I cannot see the world through her eyes. To put it another way: Ultimately, only Love Alchemy can tell Love Alchemy‘s story.

I wasn’t trying to “tell her story” because I thought she was not able to tell it herself.

Like with the work of art that left me speechless, I just wanted to say something; do something to help Love Alchemy hold on to the beauty of her past because I could not accept doing nothing.

Why could I not accept doing nothing? The answer to this question goes back to one of the driving forces behind this blog:

“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.  In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”
~ Matthew 5:14 — 16

Where do I myself go from here? I don’t know.

But, I believe the best thing that I can do is, to quote “Always With Me”:

listen to what is real

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A Catholic Responds To “34 Things Atheists Are Tired Of Hearing”

Thank you to The Closet Atheist for her post 34 Things Atheists Are Tired Of Hearing.

Excerpts from it, and the thoughts I had after reading each “thing”:

The only reason you don’t believe is because you don’t want to be obedient.

A relationship with God is about more than following commands. (Matthew 19: 16 — 22)

Evolution is just a theory!

Just because evolution is a theory doesn’t mean it has no basis in reality.

Science changes its story all the time, but the Bible never changes because it’s the truth!

Than why did Martin Luther attempt to remove 7 books from the Bible? If that is not one example of the Bible being changed to suit one’s own “truth” than I don’t know what is.

The watchmaker analogy.

Just because a person makes a watch doesn’t automatically make that person deserving of devotion. i.e., The watchmaker analogy tells us nothing about the nature of the watchmaker; it just tells us that someone made a watch. And it doesn’t tell us for what purpose the watch was made, either. For an example of creating something just for the sake of causing pain and suffering, watch The Human Centipede.

You believe deep down, but you’re not willing to admit it because God would punish you for being a sinner.

You know what a person believes? Are you a mind-reader? Because, you should know: The Bible frowns on that. (Deuteronomy 18: 10 — 12)

It’s dangerous to be a Christian these days because we are being persecuted in this secular society.

Jesus said this would happen, and to embrace it with joy. (Matthew 16:25)

If not the Bible, where do you get your morals from?

The world isn’t split into Christians and atheists. There are so many more worldviews. And so many Christian denominations, too. At least one of which does not depend on the Bible alone for its view on existence…

Evolutionists took Intelligent Design out of public schools, because they’re afraid of it because it’s true.

Your evidence to prove what you’ve just said is true?

It takes just as much faith to be an atheist!

How do you determine how much faith something takes?

Atheism is dangerous because it claims that man is his own god.

Atheism claims there is no good reason to believe in a god. There’s a difference.

When God does things that don’t make sense, just trust him and have faith.

I agree. But: This advice is worthless to a person who doesn’t believe in a god. If I told you “The Loch Ness Monster does things that don’t make sense, so just have faith,” I imagine you would think I had a few screws loose.

I’ve experienced God personally, so he’s real.

He’s real to you, yes. But: This person you’re talking to has not “experienced God personally,” so your words are ultimately worthless, are they not? Getting someone to believe you because of an experience you’ve had depends on the relationship you have with this person, too. For example: I’m more likely to believe in aliens if my best friend tells me they were abducted than I am if a stranger tells me they were abducted.

So do you think you’re smarter than everyone else?

How do you measure how smart a person is? The reason I ask is: A Christian man with a PhD once wrote this to me: “I’m entitled to my opinion, as an expert with a graduate film degree [where’s yours?]!!!”

This is a Christian country.

And? This country also hung people because of their skin color. How Christian…

Why don’t you believe? Is it because something bad happened to you?

To quote Hannibal Lecter: “Nothing happened to me, Officer Starling. I happened.”

Just wait until you’re dead!

Do you know the final destination of one’s soul? Because I was certain that is information only God has.

Just read the Bible.

Many atheists were once Christians. Care to expand on “Just read the Bible”?

I’m praying for you.

Good. But: Do it for the right reason.

Hitler and Stalin were atheists.

Your point being?

There’s no proof that God doesn’t exist.

True. But I don’t see that fact alone leading to mass conversions.

Why do you hate God?

Atheists hate God the same way people hate Joffrey from A Game of Thrones.

We all have a God-shaped hole in our hearts.

I agree.

Without religion, society would fall to chaos.

This January, Christians gave the nuclear launch codes to this man:

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Without God, there is no meaning.

Humans can make their own meaning. Whether that meaning will weather life’s storms is another matter…

Even though you don’t believe in God, he still believes in you.

If I were an atheist, why would I find comfort in the notion that a being that doesn’t exist believes I do?

You can’t look at the beautiful sky and tell me no one created that.

Actually, you can. Hence why you are having a discussion about this in the first place.

You’re going to hell!

And that’s when you know your attempt to reach out to atheists has failed.

We don’t see wind either but we know it’s there.

Considering it’s hurricane season… too soon. Too soon.

If evolution is real then why are there still monkeys?

Because not everything evolves in the same way or at the same pace? An organism’s environment being one factor that determines how it changes over generations.

What if you’re wrong?

Than may they have lived a life where, ultimately, being wrong doesn’t matter. You don’t have to say “Jesus is lord!” in order to make the world a better place. Just look at all the atheists who lost their lives in WWII, fighting for human dignity.

So do you even believe in anything?

I know one thing atheists believe in: The importance of an open mind.

There are no atheists in foxholes.

Certainly it’s not unthinkable that someone would reconsider their worldview as shells are falling around them, but there’s no guarantee of that happening.

You’re taking it out of context!

Than do your job as a Christian and explain the context. Don’t yell at a person because of an issue it is your duty to rectify.

The College Dropout Survival Guide

Note: Thank you to TheOriginalPhoenix. Her post Self-Care Isn’t Selfish is what inspired me to write this post.

It’s now been 3 years since I made the choice to come home after my second semester of university.

Bad grades, combined with not knowing what I wanted to do with my life, made me realize I need time to get my head on straight.

Coming home was a choice that almost killed me.

So, in this post, I want to share with you what I have done in order to keep myself motivated to get out of bed in the morning:

Get a job. I initially balked at the prospect of getting a job. But I knew I had to do it — I knew that I didn’t want to spend my life on the couch, living off the charity of others. So, despite the grumbling of that lazy, entitled, refuse-to-take-responsibility part of myself, when a job opportunity presented itself I jumped at it. And I am so glad I did. Sure, my work could use improvement. More than once, my boss has expressed disappointment at my performance. But, I keep at it. And I figure that as long as the paychecks keep coming, than I must be doing something right.

I’m not at Kiki levels of productivity…

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Kiki’s Delivery Service (1989)

…but I’m getting there.

Plus, if nothing else: My job allowed me to have enough money to get an Xbox One after my Xbox 360 got the Red Ring of Death.

Have a spiritual life. If you’re spiritual/religious than, if you don’t already, get in the habit of praying at least twice a day — a prayer before you go to sleep and a prayer right after you wake up.

Even if it’s only 5 seconds long and consists of two words — “Hi, (insert name of higher power here).” — praying will do you good.

As the name of my blog implies, I’m a Catholic. I was raised in the Catholic faith and, so far, my faith hasn’t let me down.

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Star Wars (1977)

Realize that you aren’t alone. Chances are that if you’re reading this post, you’re in a similar position: You’re not in college and are wondering What the deuce do I do now?

Well, one of the ways to not despair is to know that you aren’t struggling alone. There are people who have gone through, or are going through, what you are, and either they need you to help them, you need their help, or both.

After all: In order to slay the Kaiju that is Despair, you can’t do it alone…

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Pacific Rim (2013)

(I picked Crimson Typhoon because, even though it does get destroyed, I think it’s the coolest Jaeger.)

Surround yourself with beautiful things. I don’t know about you, but: The 24-hour news cycle of terrorist attacks, natural disasters, presidential incompetence, rapes, and murders depresses me. It makes me ask the one question I never want to find myself asking: Should I keep on living?

So, what do I do? I focus on the good in life instead.

For example:

Instead of scratching my head over Donald Trump’s latest tweet…

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…I listen to my favorite song instead:

It’s much more relaxing.

Do what you love. I’m currently teaching myself how to write screenplays.

I’m doing this because I discovered that, in my free time, I would frequently read film reviews. There was just something about the reviews by Steven Greydanus and Jeffrey Overstreet that hooked me. That kindled within me a passion for film. A passion to not just critique art, but create it. Because anyone can criticize. But not everyone can create.

Lately that passion to create has, unfortunately, been fueled by anger at the incompetence of fellow Christian film enthusiasts…

…reviewers are sadly out of touch with ticket buyers. In fact, they are so far out of touch that most of them pick only one blockbuster movie, and many mediocre “independent” movies and boring foreign language movies that appeal to only a few moviegoers.
~WAR ROOM’s A+ cinemascore tells the story

…but still: I’m glad to be doing something I love. Even if it can be hard.

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And:

Love yourself.

You’re not perfect.

You’ve failed before, and you’re going to fail again.

But is that going to be the end of you?

No.

Why?

Because: You love yourself, flaws and all.

You know that what you have to offer the universe is unique.

And you know that it’ll be a cold day in Hell before you let life get away with sucker-punching you.

Woman9

Boundless Challenge: Week #11

OriginalPhoenix, I’m sorry I haven’t been keeping up with the Boundless Challenge.

Boundless

My last entry in the challenge was almost a month ago.

The point of the challenge is to write about how I “lived boundless” this week — to write about one example every week of me doing more than I thought I was capable of.

And, I really do hate to say it, but: Lately, my neighbor’s cat has been more boundless than me.

Since I used to have two dogs — they died after living long, happy lives — my neighbor’s calico cat — that hangs out around my house because I give her food — has, for the longest time, resisted actually coming into the house. She must still be able to smell the dogs. But, over the weeks she’s made progress.

Yesterday she jumped on my couch and stayed there for 10 minutes before running to the door and meow-ing to be let out.

The light is bad, but here she is:

Image may contain: one or more people, cat and indoor

I call her “Kiki,”  thanks to Kiki’s Delivery Service (1989).

Why?

Because: Instead of delivering bread, Kiki the calico delivers “Aww!” Whenever I see her, I can’t help but go “Aww!” She always makes me do this:

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To get back on subject:

This week, I do have something to be Boundless about:

I finished the screenplay for my short film.

There will, undeniably, be more edits as I show it to people more knowledgeable about screenwriting than I. But, I’ve hit a wall: I feel like I’ve done everything for this screenplay that I, with my current knowledge of writing, can do. Hence why I consider it “finished.”

Have you ever felt like that? You write, and write, and write, and you get to a point where you look at what you’ve written and think I’ve done everything I can.

For weeks, my life has been relatively unexciting.

Just been trying to get more used to my job stocking shelves, since it’s the first job I’ve had in over 3 years. (School, family obligations, and soul-searching kept me busy during that time.)

When I’m not working, I’ve been listening to the Life is Strange soundtrack while I try and think of more ideas for screenplays…

…and spending time with my best friend. We hang out more frequently now, which I’m glad for. In my quest for awesomeness, I don’t want to neglect relationships.

What else has happened recently?

Well, thanks to Wild Woman Sisterhood

Woman10

…and some editing, I found a picture that captures what my short film is about:

Woman10 (2)

Regarding my short film:

I’ll write more on that later…

Thank you to TheOriginalPhoenix for inspiring me to get back to doing the Boundless Challenge.

Her fiery, phoenix-y awesomeness is just what I needed today.

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Update

Life has been strange this week.

And it’s not just because I’ve been playing Life is Strange.

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I’ve continued to make progress on a screenplay I’m writing. I’m hoping that, one day, it will become an animated short film.

I’m coming to terms with the fact that college, for the time being, is out of reach.

This week, acknowledging my limitations has been a big deal for me. Now that I know more about what I can do, I feel I’m more capable of knowing what I want to do.

More and more, I’m learning that I can’t please everyone — that I can’t do everything my family wants me to do. I know they only want what’s best for me. And, I will always be grateful for their love and support. But: When all is said and done, I have to do what makes me happy — not what makes anyone else, even my family, happy.

On another note: One thing I struggle with is pride.

So, I prayed: “God, give me more opportunities to be humble.”

And He did…

Word of advice: Be careful what you ask God for.

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I didn’t make use of all the opportunities to be as humble as I would have liked to be…

To put it another way: This week, I was all three of these people:

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Dumb and Dumber (1994)

In more ways than one, I devolved into the kind of person I hate.

I know this is all vague.

It makes me uncomfortable to talk about subjects like my struggle with pride. I don’t believe it’s because of  pride. Subjects like pride are just touchy. They make me do this:

Which is ironic.

Because: If you follow this blog, chances are you know that I’m all about being “emotionally naked” — being open and honest about one’s thoughts and feelings.

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And yet, here I am, building a wall for myself…

To end this post on a positive note:

Life is Strange: Chloe, Euthanasia, and Seeing All Ends

In Chapter 4 of Life is Strange, “Dark Room,” you are faced with a choice:

Euthanize, or refuse to euthanize, your best friend Chloe, who is dying from an injury that has left her paralyzed.

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I know that Chloe’s intent isn’t malicious. Her parents are up to their eyes in debt paying her medical bills, only a miracle will cure her, and she’s slowly dying. And here you come, her best friend Max, back in her life after 5 years apart. You spend the day with Chloe and, despite everything that has happened to the both of you, it’s like no time has passed at all. And with that in mind — filled with memories of the happiest 24 hours of her life — Chloe wants to make the only choice that, because of her condition, she alone is capable of making: The choice to die.

All Chloe wants is to be at peace. And she believes death is the means to that end.

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I looked up the Catholic Church’s teaching on euthanasia, to make the best choice that I could:

…an act or omission which, of itself or by intention, causes death in order to eliminate suffering constitutes a murder gravely contrary to the dignity of the human person and to the respect due to the living God, his Creator. The error of judgment into which one can fall in good faith does not change the nature of this murderous act, which must always be forbidden and excluded.
~Catechism of the Catholic Church, Section 2277

A part of me hated reading those words.

All I wanted was to make Chloe happy. To show her that I was everything she wanted me to be.

I’m convinced the only reason I didn’t cry during this scene is because I was dehydrated — I’m better now: got a glass of water next to me as I write this — and I turned the volume down so that I wouldn’t hear how Chloe took my refusal to grant her request. I had subtitles on though.

I couldn’t kill Chloe.

Even though she hates me now, I thought, someday, somewhere, she’ll understand.

I thought that because: This wasn’t Chloe’s end. There was a miracle that could save her: Max’s time travel powers.

And that realization got me thinking about God…

God, like Max with her knowledge of alternate realities thanks to her powers, knows more than we do. Like Chloe, we say “This is the only way,” and God, like Max, sits in a chair at our bedside, wanting us to know that there is another way:

“I am going to help you, but not like that. You have to believe me, Chloe.”

This scene taught me about trust.

This scene reminded me that I don’t have all the answers. And it’s because of that, that there are times where I need to do what Chloe refused to do and put myself in the hands of one who only wants me to be happy, trusting that they see what I cannot.

Chloe’s desire for peace reminds me of one of Kate Marsh’s favorite Bible verses. Kate being another friend of Max’s who wanted to die. It’s this verse that finally convinced her to not jump:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
~Matthew 11:28

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On a humorous note:

After I refused to euthanize Chloe, I realized I was glad to refuse her for another reason:

What if the police charged Chloe’s parents, or Max, with her death?

After all: There is no evidence to prove that Chloe died because she wanted to.

All I could think of was Ron’s words to Brick:

“Lay low for awhile because you’re probably wanted for murder.”

Life Is Strange, And Time Travel Is Weird

So… I just beat Chapter 5 of Life is Strange.

And I feel like I took all the drugs.

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Note to self: Never play Chapter 5 for the first time after you just wake up.

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Time running backwards.

I knew what I was seeing was just a part of the game, but a part of me wondered if I was still asleep and dreaming.

As I hid from Mr. Jefferson(s) in what I’m now calling “The Hell Maze” — I’ve officially heard “Gotcha!” enough for one lifetime — I honestly didn’t know what to think.

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I’m not sick, but I’m not well…

Is Max dreaming?

Is her sardonic comment from earlier in the chapter true and she really is in Hell?

I know Max says that what she went through was a nightmare, but it sure didn’t seem like it.

It’s like Max fell into the Fly of Despair.

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If I ever want to experience what it’s like to get high, sorry Walter White, you won’t make a customer out of me.

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Why?

Because: I’ll just play Life is Strange again.

Even though a part of me doesn’t want to.

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What’s worse:

I almost made the choice to sacrifice Chloe.

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I don’t know what to call that spiteful version of myself, so I’m just going to call her “Earl.”

As I talked to Earl, I realized that — gasp — actions have consequences!

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I wondered if it was right to cause so many people to die just to save the life of one person.

And Chloe was no saint, either.

But, I justified myself by remembering Luke 15:4:

“What man among you having a hundred sheep and losing one of them would not leave the ninety-nine in the desert and go after the lost one until he finds it?”

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The “lost sheep.”

And, after feeling like I went through Hell, I also just wanted to do to Arcadia Bay what I wish I could do to The Hell Maze, and destroy it.

That place put me through the wringer, and a part of me was happy to return the favor.

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Revenge is a dish best served cold.

I’ll write more about Life is Strange later.

For now, I need to de-stress by watching dog videos.