What Does It Mean To “Follow Your Heart”?: Part 3

“What does it mean to follow your heart?”

That’s a question I’ve been asking myself lately.

And I think I found the answer:

To follow your heart is to do what you love, even if “what you love” is not what others think is best for you.

The reason I say that is:

Today I made the choice to, for the foreseeable future, not return to college.

I’ve been home from my first 2 semesters of college for almost 3 years now, and the choice to go back or not go back, until tonight, has been hanging over my head every day.

The reason I dropped out after 2 semesters is:

I took classes that, I realized too late, I wasn’t prepared to take and, for a week, was as sick as I have ever been for reasons that are still unknown.

Hard classes and sickness, combined with the notification I received in the spring that I was failing a number of my classes, made me think What am I doing here?

So, after crawling across the finish line that was the end of my second semester, I came home in order to try and figure out what I wanted to do with my life. Because college clearly wasn’t working.

In one way or another, for almost 3 years, that’s what I’ve been doing — just trying to find my purpose in life.

This blog is part of that search.

Thanks to WordPress, I’ve met amazing people who have changed my life for the better. People like TheOriginalPhoenix, BeautyBeyondBones, The Closet Atheist, sunshine lou, and thesixfootbonsai.

Thanks to TheOriginalPhoenix, I am learning how to live boundless.

Thanks to BeautyBeyondBones, I am learning how important it is to always be willing to listen to another’s perspective. To always be ready and willing to offer what comfort or praise I can.

Thanks to sunshine lou, I am learning to love myself. Love myself in all my rawness. And I am learning what it means to follow my heart.

Thanks to The Closet Atheist, I am learning that dialogue between people with different points of view is possible.

Thanks to thesixfootbonsai, I am learning the importance of doing what I can to fight for people whose voices need to be heard.

Through research, I’ve realized that my previous career goal — librarian — is not a good fit for me. So, because I don’t know what exactly I would be studying if I went back to college, I won’t be going back to college.

What I will be doing, starting tomorrow, is:

Applying for a part-time job, and continuing to hope and pray that a volunteer position at my local public library opens up. (I sent an application to my library weeks ago, but haven’t heard back.) I need the money, and I think a library would be a good work environment for me.

I don’t know what my future holds.

I don’t know why God made me.

But I’m praying for answers.

I am reminded of a quote from a Catholic priest: “Trust in God, and you will not have trusted in vain.”

When I’m not praying, what I’m trying to do is follow my heart:

I’m trying to do what I believe is best for me — not what others, despite their pure intentions which I appreciate, believe is best for me.

Thank you, everyone, for everything you have done for me.

The way I see it: Life is a journey. Thank you for being on this journey with me.

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4 thoughts on “What Does It Mean To “Follow Your Heart”?: Part 3

  1. Timothy,
    First of all, I’m so glad that my blog has impacted your life in a positive way. That’s really all we can ask for in anything we do.
    Also, I guess I never realized before that you’re college-age (early 20s, I assume), which, me being in college, is my same age. That’s a cool similarity I didn’t know we had!
    Also, it seems like the librarian career path is a difficult one. One of my roommates aspires to be a librarian and she isn’t sure how to begin a search like that, so there are others out there in the same boat! (And she’s also Catholic!)
    Anyways, I hope that you find a job that is of value to you. If I were religious, I would say “I’m praying for you,” but instead, I’ll say best wishes and good luck.

    1. “…I’m so glad that my blog has impacted your life in a positive way. That’s really all we can ask for in anything we do.”

      Indeed.

      Thank you for the good work you do, sharing your experiences with others.

      “That’s a cool similarity I didn’t know we had!”

      Yep! I’m in my early 20s.

      “…it seems like the librarian career path is a difficult one.”

      Yea. I realized earlier today that I don’t have what it takes to make it in that career yet.

      “One of my roommates aspires to be a librarian and she isn’t sure how to begin a search like that, so there are others out there in the same boat!”

      I’m glad I’m not the only one who is struggling.

      This might help her: It’s from a website aimed at men, but it’s an interview with a librarian that, for me, shed a lot of light on the profession: http://www.artofmanliness.com/2014/03/13/so-you-want-my-job-librarian/

      “(And she’s also Catholic!)”

      Nice! Tell her a fellow Catholic says “Hi!” and is praying for her.

      “…I hope that you find a job that is of value to you.”

      Thank you. That means a lot.

      “If I were religious, I would say ‘I’m praying for you,’ but instead, I’ll say best wishes and good luck.”

      Thank you. I will do my best to be the best I can be.

      I wish you the best, and good luck, too.

      I hope you’re doing well, I’m praying for you, and I’m here if you need someone to talk to about anything.

      I look forward to your next post. 🙂 Your writing is thought-provoking.

  2. So kind of you to mention me here! I appreciate your openness and vulnerability. I have really come to like the WP community. Almost everyone I’ve met here is friendly; some willing to respectfully challenge and debate which helps me think though things. I’ve learned. I have FB and Twitter accounts as well, but I find those spaces much less respectful and more self-centered somehow (especially Twitter). Let’s hope we all keep blogging and make a difference for someone here and there.

    1. “I appreciate your openness and vulnerability.”

      Thank you.

      I’d rather have all my thoughts and feelings out in the open than try and keep them hidden.

      Vulnerability can be a beautiful thing.

      The way I see it: God created us to be vulnerable. Before the Fall, Adam and Eve were naked physically and emotionally. It is only after the Fall that Adam and Eve feel the need to cover themselves — the need to not open themselves and be vulnerable.

      “Almost everyone I’ve met here is friendly; some willing to respectfully challenge and debate which helps me think though things.”

      I’m glad.

      I like talking to you. And I’m sure that, even when a person disagrees with you, even if they don’t admit it, you make them think. Your words are like a seed in their mind that, one day, will grow into a tree.

      “I have FB and Twitter accounts as well, but I find those spaces much less respectful and more self-centered somehow (especially Twitter).”

      I understand.

      Twitter can be awful.

      “Let’s hope we all keep blogging and make a difference for someone here and there.”

      Indeed!

      Thank you for all the good work you’re doing.

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