I’m Sticking With “Him” and “Her”

According to the Lesbian, Gay, Transgender, Bisexual Resource Center, this is a chart of gender neutral/gender inclusive pronouns:

HE/SHE HIM/HER HIS/HER HIS/HERS HIMSELF/HERSELF
zie zim zir zis zieself
sie sie hir hirs hirself
ey em eir eirs eirself
ve ver vis vers verself
tey ter tem ters terself
e em eir eirs emself

And this is my reaction after seeing the chart:

Patrick2

Ugh. There is so much to remember.

“Zir” sounds like the name of an alien race. (“Sir, Zir ships just dropped out of hyperspace and destroyed our shields!”)

“Ters” sounds like the name of an ancient city. (“We are standing in the ruins of Ters, which was abandoned after an earthquake in 777 B.C.”)

“Vis” sounds like the name of a superpower. (“Thanks to the power of Vis, you can now see through walls.”)

“Eirs” sounds like “Ears.”

Ears

I’m sticking with non-gender neutral/gender inclusive pronouns.

They’re easier to remember.

Subject Pronoun Object Pronoun Possessive Adjective (Determiner) Possessive Pronoun Reflexive or Intensive Pronoun
1st person singular I me my mine myself
2nd person singular you you your yours yourself
3rd person singular, male he him his his himself
3rd person singular, female she her her hers herself
3rd person singular, neutral it it its itself
1st person plural we us our ours ourselves
2nd person plural you you your yours yourselves
3rd person plural they them their theirs themselves

Plus: Gender neutral/gender inclusive language sounds like something out of 1984.

That chart of gender neutral/gender inclusive pronouns sounds like something the Thought Police would have invented, in order to stamp out doubleplusungood thoughts like “Human beings are male and female, and males and females are different.”

Thought

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