As I read and watched my favorite film critics give their thoughts on the upcoming Oscar Awards and the films nominated, I had a realization: I’m not a film buff.
Film Buff: A connoisseur of or expert on cinema and films.
This realization depressed me, but it also made me feel relieved.
Depressed: I realized I’m not as knowledgeable about, and don’t have as big a passion for, film as I thought I did.
Relieved: I realized that for a while now (I don’t know exactly when) I’ve felt like I am being something I’m not. And now I know what that “something” is: A film buff.
Film will always be important to me.
It is film that carried me away on adventure when I was a kid…
…thrilled me when I was a teenager…
…and comforts me as an adult.
But. I’m not who I thought I was.
And that’s OK.
Maybe I can find some nice people who will like me and accept me for who I am.