Norm of the North: A Rant

This post is not a review of the animated movie Norm of the North. This is a rant about Norm of the North, and the animated movie industry.

You’ve been warned…

I’m glad that Norm has a 0% on rottentomatoes.com. I’m glad that, released in 2,400 theaters, in its first four days it has made less than $10 million.

According to IMDb, Norm was supposed to be a straight-to-DVD movie, but Lionsgate thought “Let’s milk this for all it’s worth.”

I honestly don’t understand how anyone can watch the trailer and think “This is quality family entertainment.”

Hasn’t Pixar (Inside Out, Up, The Incredibles), DreamWorks (Kung Fu Panda, How to Train Your Dragon), and Studio Ghibli (Kiki’s Delivery Service, The Secret World of Arrietty, My Neighbor Totoro) taught America that kids can follow well-made movies with intricate plots, three-dimensional characters, and subtext?

Apparently not. Because movies like Norm of the North, Foodfight!, and Minions exist.

I hate these movies. I hate them with the white-hot passion of a thousand suns.

I hate the fact that someone green-lit them.

I hate what they represent: Laziness, greed, and a mindset of “Kids will watch anything.”

And, finally, I hate that movies like The Secret World of Arrietty

“THE SECRET WORLD OF ARRIETTY”

…are, in terms of domestic box office gross, buried by movies like Minions.

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$19 million, compared to $336 million.

*whew*

I just needed to get that off my chest.

And, it’s not all bad. Inside Out was able to keep the Minion juggernaut at bay with $356 million.

That makes me feel… joyful.

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